Right! Where do I start from? ...
I know most of you would be wondering from the title of this post, what this article is about. It's a strange phrase I thought up to describe a state of an emotion that I occasionally encounter.
First of all, I would point out that one of my temperament types is Melancholic. I didn't really plan on explaining on Temperaments today so I would suggest you look up the definition of 'Melancholy'.
Besides the point, I was relaxing after a long day at work locked up in one of my favorite rooms in my house, doing my favorite things and enjoying the free time I had to myself. It had been a long day at work and I had been up since 6am. The night before, I went up to bed early because I wanted to have some time to myself before all my siblings came to bed. After a long hectic day, I had been a little 'to myself' since that night but nothing extraordinary happened the next day that would prove me to be in a bad mood.
Now back to Point 1, speaking from personal experience, it seems I give an impression of anger, anytime I seem to have my private moments. By just dwelling on how people react to me I end up in a bad place where I can't even look at people in the eye. The impression of anger eventually sinks into anger. Now this is where my character defect comes in...on a normal day, life goes on. I would spend time downstairs in the living room anytime I want to. Have conversations with anyone either by in person or chat on my phone (I know, Bizarre!).
My Character Defect is me coming to the point where I realise that people are scared of me, have questions about me or would shy away from me anytime I seem to be quiet. It's not their fault though, I allow things to go ugly, I am not very approachable and it's a hindrance to any human being, no matter how used they are to you.
Whenever I choose to be quiet, to have a little time to myself; I choose to be out of people's faces and I guess they think I am upset with them or I am just plain self-centred. The worst thing about this 'mood' is that I actually avoid all manner of phone conversations, not because it interrupts my privacy. I generally don't have much to say, it's like I suddenly lose my conversational skills and conversations go look this:
Them: Hey
Me: Hey
Them: How are you? What's up?
Me: I'm good, nothing much. Same old
Them: Ok..nice
Me: Hmm :)
Ends
It's not a good vibe I give others but to be honest for the few days if I haven't too much into their reactions, I am perfectly fine..in harmony with myself - getting on with my life.
I write this today because I know it just doesn't give good results for me and my close relationships especially household members.
A friend of mine confronted me about this issue last night saying 'I need to snap out of it, it's not very nice not very pleasant, it will drive people away from you especially potential suitors'. He didn't like the way I had been behaving over the past few days, being a good judge of character and a friend he had to let me know.
Coming to the end of my thoughts, it's definiately worth me looking into it. I do have some traits of a melancholic temperaments and as much as it is a contributing factor, It can change. I want to change so that I don't drive people away, I acknowledge that there might be a friend who needs my help, my encouragement and support but I am too focused on myself and can't bring myself to bringing a conversation. although I must point out that my character has certain imperfections, I will always stand my ground that "I just want to be who I am made to be". Life is a journey and I am still on my way, I haven't made it yet.
